I Slept for 11 Hours ~ Recognizing Energy Siphoning and Coming Back to Self. ⚡️🧚🏽
Article & Poem ✨
I turned over and looked at the clock on my phone…holy shit! I had just slept for 11 hours straight (with the occasional bathroom break in the middle of the night. I’m in my 40’s, it’s inevitable lol!) I couldn’t (but also could) believe it. When I got home from work yesterday I was feeling completely drained and physically exhausted. Everywhere in my body felt sore. I was practically falling asleep standing up on the subway ride home. I couldn’t figure it out. Sure, I had worked an extended shift, but this was no reason for me to feel so tired and weary. I just had the prior 2 days off. There was no way I could be that sleepy.
Then I started to think more about it. As a former people pleaser and someone that used to give their energy freely (subconsciously, of course); I realized that my energy had been siphoned. As someone that focuses on self rather than external influences; I hadn’t realized how much positive energy I was wielding within self until the past couple of years. An unfortunate truth, with this knowledge, is that there are consistently energy vampires out there. These energy seekers want that good good (so to speak.) I recognized that I had to be more diligent about protecting my energy on a regular basis.
My intentions for the day were to focus on self care and re-upping my energy. So I did all the things that make me feel good inside and out. I made a delicious breakfast: Veggie scramble (spinach, mushrooms, onions & cheese 🤤) and potatoes with coffee, of course. Then I made it a point not to rush myself into getting certain things done that I had on my day "off” checklist. I had a slow morning sipping on copious amounts of coffee and watching a mind numbing show with my cat for a couple of hours. After that, instead of slouching around in sweats all day, I got up and did my hair and makeup, went up to our rooftop deck to journal whilst having a nice healthy snack, helped my son register for his online job training meetings, and then I put on my favorite singer’s throwback playlist. It’s Janet Jackson, if you’re wondering (or not, I was going to tell you anyways Ha! 😉)
It was not part of my planned self care routine for the day but it wasn’t long before my favorite tunes growing up got me up and moving. I’m talking I was dancing around our entire apartment. My bedroom, to the living room, to the kitchen, even the bathroom all while my cat was looking at me as if she wanted to join in. Which, I am totally welcome to! Hey, you can too if you want! I highly recommend it. 💃🏽 There I was jamming out to “Miss You Much” when it hit me mid dance, while Janet was talking about a love interest, the words in that moment for me; were a welcome home to my former self. How much I missed her. Who I was before the effects of life and trauma hardened me. Prior to taking on the projections and perceptions of others. The tears began streaming down my cheeks while I continued to cry-dance, welcoming myself back home. These were happy, joyful tears. She was never gone, I know that now. If she was, I would never have stopped trying. She has always been here fighting and aching to get out. And baby, we’re back!
Although, now I have the knowledge and life experience to protect my energy as well as my peace. I have learned that everything is energy. A simple conversation, walking down the street, even taking the subway. Especially social media presence, the largest violator of energy siphoning from others. This is why I have taken a break from Instagram. It has been almost 3 weeks and I have never felt better. I used to idly scroll. Why? It was something to do. Nevertheless, that is how social media makes their money. Often sucked in by the aesthetics and curated news to fit one’s feed. No thanks. It is a hard habit to break (much like marijuana, but hey, if I can break that habit then breaking the tendency of doom scrolling is a piece of cake.) I previously had a Facebook account for my small food business in Oregon, which I believe I deleted (or deactivated). I don’t know, Meta really tries to keep you in their evil clutches. But I haven’t been on there in forever. So if my business profile still lives, then it’s very much unattended. lol. I will however go on Tik Tok at times to explore local finds in NYC. A necessary evil, if you will. It is a wealth of knowledge for someone new to Brooklyn from Brooklyn locals. ✨🫶🏽 I do keep it very limited however, thank goodness!
While I have set boundaries, there are times when I tend to back slide. It can be difficult when you are so used to people pleasing. However, I have found that I am more aware when this tends to occur. Self awareness is key! Once I realize that I have shared too much or I feel off, I immediately check myself. Learning how to navigate relationships with others that are used to who I was during this period of trying to conform has been difficult. It is especially challenging at times where I feel their uncomfortableness. Other’s uneasiness with how I have found who I was prior to people pleasing and trying to incorporate all parts of self with who I am currently. This is no easy feat. After going through all the shit life has thrown: heartbreak, domestic violence (mental and physical), Cancer (I’ll be writing about that soon) …etc. I am, however, excited to take on and slay another life effort. To blend the wonderment of childhood, the rebellion and confidence of being a teenager, and all stages of adulthood coming together. Every life experience is a learning opportunity meant to be transmuted. I become stronger coming through each moment. This one is special, I hold it close to my heart.
So, for tonight I will be saying a spell with anointing oil to protect myself from being siphoned while I sleep. Practicing more self care with a nice lavender and eucalyptus shower, more journaling and perhaps a bit of tarot (I am still learning! 🫶🏽.) Stay safe out there my light filled friends! 💖
Found Who I was Is who I am Thought she was gone She has been here all along Counting the days Waiting for me to wake up Locked in a closet Trapped deep in my mind Clawing her way to get out Fists pounding mahogany Hidden behind closed doors Her screams were unfound Dark clouds came plentiful Thunderstorms a new normal Downpours of endless projections Seeking to claim affections Never intended to be acquired Breaking down walls Shattering glass ceilings She comes out twirling, shimmying, stomping An effervescent glow unignorable Oh my, she's so strong! But, isn't she adorable?! Invisible scars of life Unable to burden the spirit inside She has been found; Her rough around the edges counterpart Leading her into the limelight Come with me darling, It's our time to shine ~Sisa del Valle
Your honesty and vulnerability are truly inspiring. I loved how you described recognizing energy siphoning and taking steps to protect your energy. The poem at the end was powerful and moving. I'm rooting for you and your continued growth. Keep sharing your light! 🙏🌸✨